The Book of The Irish: The Ultimate Paddy’s Day Guide

If you’re spending St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin and want the full Irish experience, let’s be honest—you’d probably save a fortune by moving back in with your parents, living there until you’re 46, and holding a lifelong grudge against people from the next county over just because their accent is slightly different. But since you’re here and already committed to financial ruin, you might as well do it properly.

Pre-Parade Prep & Where to Stand

Start your day with a breakfast roll from Rite Bite—a staple of the Irish food pyramid that will line the stomach for the chaos ahead. Then, get yourself near Granby Row or O’Connell Street if you actually want to see the St. Patrick’s Day Parade before the crowd is six pints deep and heckling the marching bands.

Pints & Soaking Up “Culture”

After the parade, head to either Grogan’s on William Street or Mary’s Bar & Hardware on Wicklow Street—a pub that gets hammered in more ways than one (yes, it still sells tools). The real reason you’re here, though, is the WOWBURGER downstairs, where you can inhale a cheeseburger in under two minutes and pretend it’s soaking up the Guinness.

If you fancy something a little different, McGowan’s in Smithfield is great for a lively crowd. Or, if you’re looking to avoid the city centre madness, Smyths in Ranelagh has a great atmosphere and actual space to breathe—a rare Paddy’s Day luxury.

The Late-Night Session

If you’ve made it this far and aren’t on the bus back to your overpriced hotel, Whelan’s is your spot. Live music, dancing, and the exact amount of chaos—you’ll wake up with no voice, sore legs, and at least one random new mate who swears they have a couch for you in Chicago.

The Famous Spice Bag

At some point, you’ll want a spice bag—the national post-party dish and the gold standard of fine dining. Don’t be fooled by the overpriced tripe in the city centre. If you want the real deal, go to Hoi Wan (Finglas), Good Work (Jobstown), Red Rice (Kimmage), or Castello’s Chinese (Drimnagh).

Final Tips for Survival

1. Dress in layers. You’ll be freezing, sweating, and rained on all in the space of an hour.

2. Watch your pockets. Someone (maybe you) will reach into your pockets and spend your money.

3. Pace yourself. The only pace you should go at is your own (I’m legally obliged to say this).

Enjoy the chaos, embrace the madness, and most importantly—please, don’t call it “Patty’s Day.”